Today I turned 26 years old! I don’t feel any older, but I do feel a little wiser. What does age really mean anyway? Yes it means I have been alive for 26 years, but it means nothing really in terms of who I am. It doesn’t tell you anything about the life I have experienced. It just tells you my duration of time here. And does that really matter?
Does it really matter when you consider life here on earth and everything it offers us?
Life is beautiful isn’t it? I see beauty around every corner. In aid of my forever grateful perspective I want to celebrate this past year gone. The year that I was 25! I have so much to be thankful for this year, so much to really really hold in my heart and hands and say a deep and very meaningful: “thank you”.
I have learnt so much about myself this past year, more than I think I have learnt in my entire life time.
I have opened the door into so many new worlds and experiences that I have not only enjoyed opening, I have been fortunate enough to really experience so many different feelings and emotions along with all the new situations I have found myself in.
In my 25th year of life I started blogging, I started writing for me not for my degree, not for a deadline or an assignment, but on my own terms. I did my Reiki attunment which has given me the self belief and motivation I needed. I experienced breastfeeding my little boy up until 17 months old, the whole experience such a gift. We had our first family holiday just the four of us. We bought a new kitten home called Bella and she is a sweetheart. The list is truly endless, it just gives me goosebumps to think how far we have come as a family, how much we have achieved and the exciting life adventures that still await us, it makes me beyond excited even thinking about it.
I have also learnt so much about myself and by just listening and watching other people I find myself more open I take on peoples advice, I accept it and I make the important changes that I feel necessary.
Expanding on this year of self belief and amazing life experiences. Do you know what I find most inspiring about it all? It’s other woman, in particular woman who truly love themselves. I love how beautifully a woman cares for herself and sees the beauty that radiates from within her. I love how she sees beauty in her childbearing stomach, her changed body and her imperfections. How she so gracefully appreciates each part of her body which is so intrinsically important to every part of who she is.
I have come to know as I have grown into the woman I am today is that how a woman feels about herself is so important in every aspect of her life. I invite you, and every woman in the world to love themselves. You are enough just as you are.
It has taken me so many years of changing how I speak to myself, what I say to myself, what I believe about myself. Leading me to be so intrigued by women who love who they are and who are strong in their decisions, who believe in the woman they are. I only wish that I too can learn to love myself so completely I never doubt who I am.
I grew up with a low self esteem, probably unbeknown to many of my peers in school. The low self esteem was of course grown and nurtured by no one else but myself. I told myself everyday that I wasn’t good enough, I couldn’t do what she did, I wasn’t as pretty, as athletic as clever as she. I did it a lot for a long time. And it was detrimental to my success as a woman.
But it was only after I had Archie I decided I didn’t want to live with negative thoughts about myself. I became sick of hating myself and of feeling inadequate, of feeling there was always someone better than me.
I was finally ready to start bearing some of the light beneath the the skin I had worked so hard to cover. I had worked so hard to cover up the real loving, caring, person that I am. I successfully made a mask that was believable to everyone around me.
I write this now as I sit quietly in the evening while my children sleep and I can’t believe I held back who I was for so long. In fear of what? In fear of the very scary world that I grew up to believe is a horrible place. The people are horrible the experiences are horrible and everything else is never good enough never fulfilling never enough.
I had it all wrong, my perspective was screwed it was upside down and it is absolutely disgraceful to me that I used to hold this perspective.
I am so thankful, more than ever that now, what you read, what you see and if you know me now this is the real me this is who I have always been.
So I want to say ‘hello’ and it is great to meet you and that I am excited to start my 26th year of life as the ‘real’ me, and if you are here joining me, thank you for being here.