Sophia, the day has finally arrived where you start big school and I wave you off at the school gates. The day I knew was inevitable when you were born. It feels like yesterday I held your soft new body in my arms. But that was almost 5 years ago.
I couldn’t be more proud of you, you have always learnt new skills sooner and quicker you have always loved learning, so I know you will enjoy school. So I shouldn’t worry, but sometimes I can’t help it because I love you so much.
I can’t believe that it has been almost 5 years since I gave birth to you and that now you are starting school. I want to remember you as my little baby forever but at the same time I am enjoying watching you blossom in the little girl that you are and it makes me proud, happy and an emotional wreck all at the same time.
It has been a long road but a very special road. Special to you and I, I started my degree when you were just three months old and worked around your naps for the first two and a half years. I cried so many guilty sad tears when I sent you off to nursery for the first time once you were no longer napping enough for me to study, and then you cried for me too. I rang the nursery as soon as I arrived home. It was a really hard couple of days leaving you my crying little two and a half year old. I hope that doesn’t happen this time. I have tried my hardest to instil an excitement and the prospect of ‘a new adventure’ into you that you are more curious and inquisitive then nervous and scared.
If I am honest my little Phia I think school will be the making of you I think it will bring you a confidence you never had, a self belief that you can. You are going to learn to read and write with the help of your teacher and mum and dad at home too. Something you are very excited about. You can’t wait to be able to read to your little brother and already attempt it with your favourite books.
It’s a big moment today, just like the day you were born, motherhood was new to me, your tiny frame fitted so perfectly into my arms. I remember so clearly your squeaky cry and soft skin, your little lips and dark eyes. I remember your feet! They were so long, and your little ear, it came out all bent in half your dad was a bit concerned about it, but the midwife reassured him that it was just how you were positioned in the womb and it would be absolutely fine, and it was a couple hours after birth.
Your dad he loves you so much, I know you know that but he cried his eyes out when he held you for the first time. He sat on the hospital chair and tears of joy ran down his face he starred into your eyes with a happiness I have never seen in anyone before. Your birth was magical, it was such an experience for both your dad and I that we will never forget it, not ever. You are beautiful and you have given us so much.
When I think back to the time where my body felt all sorts of pain and my heart felt unconditional love for the very first time. I know little Phia bell that you even though you going to big school is a little new to me you will be absolutely fine. There I will be whimpering as you so boldly walk into the school gates this morning with your blue book bag in hand and your loving heart on your sleeve.
Wish me luck friends, because I am scared for my heart.