My darling boy, I cant believe that on this day four years ago at 11.02am you were born. I remember you came out within minutes, your labour was so quick and so intense I felt every single bit of pain through my whole body. I didn’t get to hold you straight away but when I did hold you I remember how big you felt, how strong. You were a big boy and I always knew that because I really struggled carrying you.
It felt like the longest pregnancy and I had a lot of pain and I did struggle. We had a rough start you and I. But from the moment you were born I just wanted to hold you in my arms, I wanted to love you. I had the strongest urge to just keep you close. Looking back I think it was because of all the problems we had at the very start and at the end of my pregnancy I just wanted you where I could see you and know that you were okay. We needed each other a lot in the beginning. You needed my love and care and I just desperately wanted to take care of you.
I feel like we were meant to meet, destined to be mother and son as cliche as that sounds. I am sure how most mums feel about their children and I wouldn’t change a moment. Even at times during my pregnancy you had me worried and right when you were born not breathing, slowly hours later your eyes red raw and blood shot from the strangulation of the cord when you were inside me before I had even started pushing. I had no idea the extent not until you were born and not until you opened your eyes and I could see what you had been through. My poor boy.
But now, you wouldn’t even think you had a tough start you are more amazing then I ever thought you would be. Confident, never afraid to say how you feel, you are the most loving little boy I have ever met and you fill me up every single day with your love, cuddles and kisses. As you get older it shows just how much you love me and I couldn’t be more grateful for how you tell me the things that you do at the age that you are. Little things like: “mummy I had a good day with you today and I love you so much” or “If you don’t want me to eat that chocolate mummy I won’t” But you eat it anyway! Its the thought that counts.
You are so funny and you love to make people laugh. Nothing holds you back from the things you love or the things you want to do and I love that about you so much. I love how you literally take life by the horns and you just enjoy it. You are genuinely so happy for no other reason then you just are. I have learnt so much from you and so far the greatest lesson you have shown me is that happiness is free and it doesn’t take much to be happy. A simple cheese sandwich (your favourite) or being able to ride your bike to school in the morning, or having a sweet in the morning… before breakfast (very naughty)! Forgetting about all the things we should be saying no to and just actually saying yes.
I think I have always been less hard on you and more lenient just because I felt when you were born that we could have lost you. You were and always have been my little miracle baby and I knew from the day I brought you home not to take that for granted.
Being a second time mum too I am completely aware how fast it goes and I want to appreciate each day. Thank you for showing me how. Thank you for just being you and coming into my life. I am the luckiest mum in the world and every day with you is a another magical day.
You have asked for a motorbike for your birthday this year and the whole family clubbed in together to get it for you because it was what you so desperately wanted. You love monster trucks, motorbikes, dirt, jumping in mud, digging in the sand, building, being outdoors, exploring, running, laughing. Playing fun games with your sister, swimming and being active. You are my wild child in every way and I love you just the way you are.
As I say every year happy birthday and I look forward to this next year with you. I wish for you the most exciting, fun, happy 4th year of life filled with lots of the experiences and people you love. You deserve all of the good things in life and I wish that for you every single day. Happy fourth birthday my Archie.
We had the most special time celebrating your fourth year and you were so easily happy by everything. Keep being you. x