Life has a funny way of showing you what is really important. Last weekend we made an impromptu visit to the cinema. We don’t take the children often in fact I can count on one hand the amount of times we have been. Friday evening was Archie’s second trip to the cinema. He is very young but is a complete telly addict! Sophia however has only recently been okay the last few times to sit through a film. So when we attempted Friday night we had no idea how it was going to go as you normally don’t know with young children how anything will turn out until it’s happened.
The cinema visit was better than I expected we went to the 6pm showing of the new Jungle Book and both the children were mesmerised with the beautiful animals and the story of Mowgli. Archie had been talking about the film ever since.
I was a little worried about Sophia as she is quite sensitive and gets scared easily. She was scared a few times through the film but mostly enjoyed it. The scenes are all a good length and the scenery changes quickly, the children didn’t really get bored watching as there was always something new happening.
Archie kept asking questions the whole way through: ‘Why is Mowgli jumping?’ “Why does the bear want honey?” “Why is the tiger mean?” I hope it wasn’t too annoying for the people in front of us but no one complained. It was ever so cute though and me and Daniel looked at each other and pulled adoring faces about his inquisitive questions. He doesn’t have to do much and our hearts melt.
The only thing that really scared Archie throughout the whole film was when the ‘king’ which was the big monkey, he did a rather loud and scary roar. He came straight in to me for a cuddle. There were a few occasions where both children laughed and enjoyed the film. Archie especially laughed so much when Mowgli was captured by the monkeys and was being thrown in the air. Archie obviously thought this looked like so much fun!
One thing that Sophia said made me and Dan laugh so much. When Mowgli managed to defeat Shere Khan the tiger, she leant over and whispered to her dad: “Omg dad Mowgli is just so smart” we really couldn’t help but laugh and completely agree with her. She is so sweet and becoming so much “older” by the minute.
She says things everyday and elaborates on ideas and memories from school and conversations with me that I sometimes feel like I am talking to a close friend of mine. Currently getting used to this new stage in her life. And completely loving it so much.
Our family trip to the cinema gave me a little insight into how our lives are going to be as they grow older. Just the four of us against the world, in our little bubble, trying our best to give our children as much time and love within this family unit we have created together.
A close family friend once said to me that the older your children get the deeper your relationships become and even more rewarding too. I can definitely believe this to be true as I now completely see what she meant when she said that to me.
Here my children are at 5 and 2 and I’m so contented and happy with how things are now. I feel like we have this great understanding. We compliment each other and allow each other the space to grow and be who we are as well as being close at the same time.
There will be many times throughout our week where I will yearn for 5 minutes to myself whether to do my make up or paint my nails but those are probably the times when you will find both of my children joined to my hip. As a parent it is hard to get a little ‘me’ time even for a couple minutes. But it’s all about learning how to get on with life together and in harmony. There is no great rush and no problems really.
There are many times when I remind myself what a wonderful relationship I have with my children, that they want to be near me at all times and even just potter around in the same room as me. They enjoy my company as I do theirs. And so I have learnt to accept that I won’t always get five minutes when I need it. It’s not hard to learn when there are gaps in the day that they are ready for a quiet ten minutes. In those times I will set them down with either colouring in, books, Lego, or even their iPads and I will get on and do an urgent phone call or paint my nails. I remind myself … All in good time!
It all comes together I find the more I let go of this motherly control deeply rooted inside of me, the smoother life roles and the less bumpier the harder moments.
At the cinema all these thoughts of the four us together forever and what life may possibly look like in the future, as opposed to how it is now makes me smile. I won’t get these moments back and I remember at the cinema paying more attention to looking at the three of them, Daniel holding Archie who was snuggled into his chest, his chin resting on Archie’s head. Their hands interlocked. The closeness and love between them is striking and I enjoy so much having quiet moments where I can take stock and be grateful for what they have found in each other.
I looked at Sophia, her bright eyes on the screen, when there was a bit she liked she would turn to me and give me a big grin. She is so big now and sat quietly eating her popcorn, at intervals taking small sips of her Slush Puppie, she always gets a mixed Slush Puppie, never able to decide on one colour. Much like me as a child I would always opt for a multicoloured Slush Puppie too!
A few times she asked me to hold her hand and cover her eyes and I gladly did so. When I hold her hand I feel this super charged connection. I feel the heat between our hands grow the longer they are clasped. Holding her hand I feel how gentle she is and how fragile. I want for her to grow into a strong and confident woman who knows what she wants, I love her the way she is now but I feel her vulnerability and unease in every aspect of her and I can’t help but wish for her to have the belief that she is strong and that she can.
I want that for her because I know that will help her to not be afraid, to not shy away from things because of how she may be feeling inside. I want all of the best things for her because I have been five and I have been a child in school with no friends at some points. I have been left out and had my feelings deeply hurt and I want her to know first that she is more than enough, so when she comes across situations like this she doesn’t take it into her heart and allow for it to be broken into one thousand pieces.
I don’t ever want her to shed even one tear from feelings of rejection or sadness. I want her to know that she is enough just the way she is whether she is shy and fragile or whether she is strong and confident. Either way I know that Sophia has an incredibly beautiful heart. At five she has an empathy and understanding for other children her age that I have never seen before.
I don’t always know if this is a good thing because I feel sometimes other children her age can get away with been ‘mean’ and it’s easy to say: “Oh they don’t understand what they say can hurt your feelings.” I think they do understand, I just don’t think they understand the impact of what they say. They may know it will hurt the other person but not to what extent.
Children are children I know that and I appreciate that too. Children are amazing and all have so much good inside of them it is about learning how to use that more. We all need to learn to use our good more.
I don’t know how but a simple trip to the cinema gave me a huge amount of love and gratitude for my family. These people are a perfect match for me, they make me happy and wipe away any tears I have, they give me cuddles when I need them and encourage me to keep being who I am. Sometimes it’s hard to be you and having the right people around you is so important. These three are so important to every part of my life.
Just before the end of the film Archie fell asleep on me. First he asked me if we could go home and I said we would in a minute and then I felt his whole body relax into me, his head a little heavier on my chest and his hand slide off my arm.
I knew just in that moment he had fallen asleep, I pulled him a little closer and I kissed his head. As he slept the heat poured from him he was so warm and cuddly I wanted to kiss and smell and love him as much as I could. I held him close for the rest of the film until it ended and we carried him to the car. He slept all the way home and didn’t even open an eye when we placed him in his bed. He lay there in such a deep sleep and I removed his shoes and his jeans and covered his little body with the duvet. I tucked him in, gently pushing the covers closer around his body and as I reached his shoulders I gave him a kiss on the head and whispered: ‘I love you my boy’.
The rest of the evening was spent eating pizza and chilling with Sophia and Daniel. We chatted about the film and Sophia chose ‘Aliens vs Monsters’ to watch on Netflix. We sure did have a great Friday evening. The best part of it wasn’t the activity and going to the cinema at all but the people I got to spend my time with. Having my Archie, my Sophia and my Daniel with me makes everyday worth living. As each day goes by I learn how very important family is and everyday I am blown away by what having children does to a person. It opens your heart right up. And it keeps on giving you more as your children grow older. I don’t know how it could get any better because already I feel it is at its peak!
Here is to many more years of cinema trips with these guys, and all the other exciting adventures that are ahead of us.