This season

In this season of our lives there has been so many interruptions and changes and shifts for all of us over the last few months. 

I know for me I’ve had to really dig deep within myself to feel that sense of calm, that feeling of safety and trusting all is well in my world no matter the changes we’ve been faced with. 

As most of you all know my blog has been one of my sources of income over the last three years and not working here over the last few months has felt very odd. But priorities, and slowly I am hoping to integrate this back into my life while having the children home. Although Archie is now the only one back at school for now.

I only have so many hands and it just wasn’t something I could juggle along side homeschooling the older two and looking after Arthur, running a household and also some personal things we have going on behind the scenes. Which I will let you all know soon.

I’m sure for a lot of us mums with the general demands we have day to day been intensified over this period the added pressure of the chaos in the world has just about been enough. It highten’s our emotions and it really is a time we need to be more gentle with ourselves and family, and spend more time with nature, in our gardens, meditating, isolating, reading, educating and researching. Coming to our own conclusions is key. I trust wholeheartedly in a higher power and know we are protected and being taken care of. I know that my purpose right now is protecting and raising my three children being at the top of my list. I urge you to focus on whats in front of you right now and know that what you are currently doing is enough, you are enough as you are right now.

I care so much and I feel so much but I also have learnt to set boundaries within myself so that I don’t let the externals in life bring me to rock bottom and flare up any anxiety within me. It is something I have been working on for years. This should be the same for us all does that make sense? There comes a time when you have to prioritise your family and your own mental health over things out of your control. Things much bigger than you. I know I trust that there is something greater at work and everything is going to be okay. 

I trust that there are people in a different position to me possibly without little children that can do things I maybe cannot. But I know my priority as a parent right now is to feed and nurture the three little minds in my home. That’s most important. 

I live by this very beautiful quote by mother Teresa: 

“If you want to change the world go home and love your family.” 

Her words of wisdom brighten my soul on days where I need it most. 

Now that I’ve got those feelings out and let you know how I’ve been feeling with it all, over the last few weeks il update you on us. 

So we have some pretty big news which I will update you all on soon. There has been a few reasons I wasn’t able to speak about it just yet. But other than that we are just muddling along adjusting our days and lives as they are. As much as it can be full on sometimes I am enjoying my three so very much. They honestly brighten my days. I feel so lucky to have them. Every day I try my best some days not as good as others but we get through with each other. Some seasons in our lives are a little harder in some ways then others and thats okay. Its part of what we signed up for.

Sophia is doing really well. She is happy, and talks to her friends on my phone sometimes. Of course she would love to go back to school and socialise and she does find some days harder but mostly all is well. Arthur bless him should have been at preschool now but of course all has been postponed. He has grown up so much over lockdown and these last few months and talks so well now.

He is desperate to go to school like his big brother and often tells me I need to buy him school shoes and school clothes. It’s very cute. He is so cheeky and we all just adore him. He knows he is the baby in the house and he gets away with everything. We all love him so much. He is always making us laugh.

Archie is also really good, and happy. He has now gone back to school. We went back and forth with the decision to send him back and decided ultimately for his emotional health it would be best for him. He was happy at home, but missing the structure of his days he has always loved school and once we spoke to him about returning to school that is all he asked us about. So we made the decision together after liaising with the school and their rules going forward we were very happy with their decisions regarding the new school life.

Ultimately over this time I want my kids to have family memories, lazy days, outdoorsy days, pj days, film nights, stories being read to them, lots of nice food, eating apples on walks, running in the fields with the sun blazing down, loads of cuddles from mum and dad. Feeling safe and utterly loved with not a care in the world. They don’t need the anxieties placed on them by the externals they really don’t even need to worry about any of it. I want them to be happy healthy and feel like their home life is secure enough for them to feel that they are always loved, looked after and protected. Because ultimately we all are we just need reminding of it.

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