I do apologise for my, (what seemed like to me) long absence from my blog; I hated every second of it. But, thankfully we have the Internet all set up and running from our new address, thank goodness, I was going a bit crazy over here. I was very much missing my blog updates, my quiet time writing, and my reflecting. Actually its shown me how much I really do enjoy it. Well, the lounge is somewhat complete, apart from minor details like light fittings and putting up picture frames. Which will be done in due course. The beautiful fireplace my husband and father in law built is very much loved by all of us, both very talented if I do say so myself. It looks beautiful and is so cozy and warm on these chilly nights. I seriously used to dream about a fireplace like this. I love it so much. Even the view, we put double doors in the lounge, and the view into the garden is so peaceful, I look out, and I can see the sky as clear as anything, the green grass, the kids toys, the birds, the view is beautiful, I don’t think I will ever get board of looking out there.
So, funnily enough (in perfect timing actually) two days after we moved in, and completed one of the last tip runs of all the debris from the lounge and re decorating, one of our cars broke down. Well the engine started making funny noises. So I was left in my new home with no car and no way to get Sophia to preschool, as my husband uses the other car for work. I used it some days, but for most of the week he took it to work. Loosing one car actually wasn’t as bad as I had imagined. It forced me to stay at home, and just relax a bit. Something I do find pretty hard with two little ones running around. You will find me cleaning, playing or chasing them around. So actually it was quite a positive experience loosing one car for the week. Because I have been O.K. which I thought I wouldn’t. At our old place I always felt trapped and enclosed without my car. But here, I don’t, I really don’t, and it’s a wonderful feeling.
Consequently Sophia spent an extra day at home, which was Tuesday and the children had one of the best days, running in and out of the garden, Sophia dressing up, Archie kicking balls and collecting sticks, running around with the cat, it was a great day the sun was shinning too, so of course that made the day even better.
I find no matter what I do with my children, there will always be something they do or that I experience, and associate it with my childhood and my upbringing, reigniting many memories growing up. Just that Tuesday, the children both playing freely in the garden, I stood there watching them, grinning from ear to ear, thinking how happy I was for my children, my heart beaming, this must have been what it was like for my parents to see me happy. What a wonderful realisation. In that moment I was taken to a time when I was extremely happy, playing as a child. I remembered a trip we once took to the Transkei in South Africa, still to this day so firmly embedded into my memory as if it happened yesterday. Even writing this brings back memory after memory.
I remember been sat in a small shallow rock pool with some friends and my younger sister Shannon, she must have been about two. My mum lay on a bright stripy beach towel, two feet away, catching the sun. I was splashing the water, the sun blazing on my back. Huge rocks sat beside us as we played partly enclosing us from the hot rays of the sun. I could hear the loud crashing sounds of the waves onto the sand. I could hear seagulls singing in the air above, and my mothers laugh gently in the background. I remember the palm trees scattered around us. Something I took no notice of at the time, but as I look back I remember them been there as clear as day. I ran on the hard sand, mud like from the sea washing over it, my feet nearly sinking into it as I ran along the beach. I remember feeling the cool air touching my wet skin, it felt like ice but the sun warmed me up before I could shiver. I held my hands out and I danced in the middle of the beach I was six years old, I was free, I was in the wilderness, ready for anything. Little did I know then that I was in paradise right at that moment.
Sophia sitting on the swing singing, Archie waddling in the garden picking up sticks, takes me back over and over, but yet I stand here and I realise I am living in paradise right now, I feel the sun on me, I hear the birds, and I smell the fresh air, that’s paradise.