On breaking through judgement 


The beauty of breaking through judgement is that it changes you and your perceptions. It brings you closer to compassion and it opens your heart.

I think the online world we have created is magnificent, I am aware that it can be a minefield for judgment too. There is judgement online and offline, and it can be hurtful to the person being judged as well as the person judging.

I am not perfect and one person I judge far to much is myself. Do you judge yourself? I often ask myself: ‘Why do I judge myself?’ I am an individual and I have needs and circumstances different to others.

I have been blogging for over a year now and have always found it a really wonderful place. But don’t get me wrong as I have continued, although never involved in this side have seen the very judgemental side to blogging, were it becomes more about being okay for someone else like a brand for example or others then being okay for yourself. But this happens everyday, even on the school playground, in the supermarket and at work.

Nevertheless it is something that we have to understand is going to happen and change the judgement within our own minds. We all have our own preferences and ways in which we want to be perceived and that is okay. For me this is more of a community where I can interact with like minded people and woman/men who are in a similar situations in life as me, that we are parents or share similar interests or ways of thinking. I love that the internet holds a place for me to do just that as I journey through this very crazy life that seems to be a whirlwind at times.

Despite all the good I am a part of here online there is also the not so good just like in ‘real’ life.

I have not been a party to any of the ‘bad’ here online and think that has a lot to do with me deciding not to give energy to such negativity. I try to eliminate it from my life as much as possible. But I still see it happen sometimes.

Spending time with people who have a very negative energy is detrimental to you. It really is. It can take away your motivation and your enthusiasm for life just like that. So it is really important if you have to be around these people for whatever reason to protect yourself and remember that nothing anyone says is ever personal. It is their perceptions and opinions and not yours.

This is one of the ways that you can break through judgment and that is by disconnecting from ‘their’ views as such. Remember they are not yours.

Another way is to remember no matter what, we are all in different circumstances. I know that no matter what we go through as a family I try to make the best out of the situation until the ‘hard times’ pass. Because one thing I have learnt is that they always do pass.

Some people have passed judgment on me saying that I am far to happy all the time and that’s not real. I don’t ever feel that I have to validate and justify myself which is why I have never addressed this here. In terms of judgment it is a great reminder. Yes, people do judge you and they always will. But it is not your views so you must let them go. If you don’t you will be bogged down and taken into that space of their reality.

The people who see me as ‘too happy’ are the people who are seeing their reality when looking at me and if they are not in a happy place they can’t understand or comprehend me in a happy place and that is really sad because what they are actually doing is not allowing themselves to experience the happiness and joy I have. They won’t ever experience it because they push it away in their judgements of me.

I will say like I have said twice I am not perfect. I am learning everyday. But I am happy, genuinely so very thankful for everything I have and that we have as a family, including the wonderful people we are surrounded by day to day. I love my life and I love my family more than words can ever do justice. So I do wonder why that is such an issue for people when all I want to say to them is you can have this too. You can have all the happiness and all the joy of this day too. First, you have to choose it.

Everyday is a choice, and the more we continue to focus on our own plot and future and fill our own lives with love and care, the more we grow our beautiful and radiant garden. Start within first, and one way to start is to stop judging and accept people for who they are.

I can’t remember where but I once heard or read a beautiful quote that people are like trees, you accept them and their beauty for what it is, you can’t change a tree and nor would you want to because it adds to the diverse beauty of the world. And it really does. For all our faults and weaknesses our strengths and our humanness it radiates and compliments every part of this world tenfold.

On top of this it is so important to stand united and to uplift everyone in our world it will do wonders for not only you and your life but for the greater good of everyone around you. Carry compassion in your heart always not only for others but for yourself.

So before you are quick to judge someone and say they are this or they are that take a step back and cultivate your thoughts, where is this coming from? Because there s always so much more going on behind closed doors, on social media and in reality. So be kinder, be gentler and most of all be aware.

Here is to breaking through judgment and accepting people for who they are. I would love to hear your views and experiences or any advice when it comes to judgment? Have you experienced it?



  1. March 14, 2016 / 8:15 pm

    You have to make judgements every day to survive but being overtly negative never gets anyone anywhere. Good luck with your new resolutions.

  2. March 15, 2016 / 11:41 am

    I haven’t been on the end of too much negativity online but it is so important to surround yourself with positivity. I like the tree comparison – very poignant

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:32 pm

      Oh thank you Rebecca yes I try to do the same x

  3. March 15, 2016 / 1:25 pm

    Most people online are great, although there will always be negative nellies about! I’ve tried recently to steer clear of a few people who didn’t make me feel so good/comfortable as they were always judging, and now I feel much better, and ‘freer’ if that makes sense? Very liberating x

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:32 pm

      Yes completely makes sense Becky. I too have only met great people here online so I am very lucky x

  4. Jenna
    March 15, 2016 / 2:25 pm

    I definitely think it’s important to make good choices about who you spend time with (both online and off). I think I prefer to just ‘do my own thing’ and let everyone else get on with their own thing. x

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:33 pm

      Yes Jenna I think that’s a great way to live. Thank you for your lovely comment x

  5. March 15, 2016 / 2:32 pm

    I used to be told I was far too happy all the time but life is what you make it and I refuse to let others drag me down. I have had a few negative comments on my blog but if they are that bad I delete and block. We are not all the same and people don’t have to agree all the time. I avoid posts on politics at all costs lol

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:34 pm

      Yes I think that’s great advice kara! I love happy people and enjoy spending my time with them x

  6. March 15, 2016 / 2:35 pm

    I couldn’t agree with you more and I really don’t understand why or how anyone could judge someone for being “too happy” – if you are happy and optimistic then you stay that way! H x

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:34 pm

      Thank you Harriet I couldn’t agree with you more. X

  7. March 15, 2016 / 6:21 pm

    When I was younger in my teenage days I have to admit I was pretty judgemental with people but only because I had trust issues. The older I have got I don’t tend to judge anyone. I do judge myself big time though. This is a well written post.

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:35 pm

      Thanks lovely. Yes I agree with you x

  8. March 15, 2016 / 7:51 pm

    Thats a great post. I think it’s good to learn to not judge and accept people. I find myself being judged a lot and know that if I don’t like it then not to do it to others. Thanks for sharing. Angela

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:38 pm

      Thank you Angela. Yes I think the same x

  9. Viki
    March 16, 2016 / 5:28 pm

    I have luckily never been part of any negativity online and dont really know how I would react to it x.

    • Tanita
      March 16, 2016 / 5:29 pm

      Yes me too viki it is of course just not great when you see or hear about it. X

  10. March 19, 2016 / 8:36 am

    What a thing to judge you for.. being a happy person! Some just have to find fault in any way they can, keep doing your thing if you’re happy thats all that matter xx

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