This month on the 16th of June I turned 30 years old! I remember been a little girl and thinking wow thirty is so old. And now I’m thirty its a lovely yet strange feeling. But i’d like to tell the little old me that thirty really is not old! I don’t feel old enough to be thirty yet. But here I am, thirty years old.
As a young girl I felt I wanted a family but I always had in my mind that I wanted to progress my career first and that I’d have my children later on in life. But sometimes life has other plans for you. Things were completely different for me the way they turned out. I started a family young. I feel like it was the only path for us because of the way things worked out and how everything happened. And I couldn’t be happier.
What I am trying to say is that the way my life planned out and where I am now it better then I ever dreamed. I love having my children. It can be hard work being a parent there is no denying that but it is definitely the most amazing humbling and greatest experience. The fact I get to show these three little people the world, encourage them to go forth in it boldly and knowing they are enough is a huge responsibility. It’s a privilege. Everyday I just hope I am making them proud and doing my best job.
I have had a few funny weeks of feeling off and I think its because I have not been working as much as I usually do. I really love making my own money and being able to buy things I want to and pay for my bills and treat my family. It’s a really good feeling. But recently with Daniel’s business taking priority and juggling mum life and having Arthur full time means I have little time to work . I had recently taken a big step back and saying no to work. I kind of feel in the mix of it all I had lost a little of my motivation to work online because i’ve had so much going on in my life, including finishing the two bedrooms which I will shortly do a little post on to show you the finished rooms. Which I am not only so proud of but feel so grateful we were able to do this for Sophia Archie and Arthur and so thankful for the finished rooms.
Anyway so thankfully I think the fog seems to have lifted for me now and here I am writing my 30th year of life blog post!
Onto the important stuff, the real raw stuff. In my heart I genuinely feel so lucky to have this life. Yes challenges are faced and there are always hurdles to overcome but life is good, It’s exciting and everyday is a new day for a fresh start or to start something new, or even carry on living the life you are happy to live. Let us never forget that. I am in a really happy place in my life, going through all the difficulties and hardship I went through as a young girl I can look at my life now knowing I feel loved and I feel safe.
I have recently been through a hard time in my life the last few months and on top of that I had to have my wisdom tooth out and so it came to a point where I felt really run down for quite a while. I don’t like feeling like that I can feel a lot of guilt for not being able to keep on top of the house and everything that involves being a mum. But I feel lots better now and I feel inspired and ready to work hard and come back. I needed the last few months to heal and feel better.
I have written a post like this (or so I thought) for the last 4 years but I seemed to have missed last year out which I am sad about but I think it was a bust time of my life I had a little 7 month old and he’d just started weaning so all my attention went on that.
I just read the post I wrote when I turned 28 and the words and what I said still resonate with me so much. I still feel the same. I have made a few more very special friends over the last year or two and a huge factor for me over the last couple years is that I have learnt to let the love in. To allow people to love and appreciate me. To allow my friends to surprise me and feel happy knowing they care and not feeling guilty for being loved or given things I thought I never had deserved.
It’s a strange realisation. I used to feel a huge amount of guilt when anyone wanted to do something for me or Id feel embarrassed or not good enough. I’d want to hide away and the only person I’d let in would be Daniel.
But I’m not like that anymore and actually its because I am different now and I am okay to let people love me and be kind to me I can write about it and I can say this is how I felt.
I think its so important to talk about these things and I want to do more of it. Which I do sometimes on my Instagram. Life is not straightforward we all have things that we have to overcome. writing about it shows others thats its okay to feel like this and we are human and we can heal from past pain or past feelings that don’t serve us in a positive way. Thats the beauty of life and the beauty of being human. We can all change how we feel and we can all choose it. Perspective has huge power over how we all see our worlds.
I also think its not about what you receive on your birthday but more how you feel. But I would like to remember what I did for my 30th! So I am going to share it here. One of my lovely friends did me an afternoon tea at her house I didn’t now anything about it. It was all set out so pretty she set out the table and made us a delicious spread. I felt so happy and so surprised when she showed me what she had done! I felt very spoilt, she really gave me such a big smile that day. She even made little party bag full of sweets for everyone. It was so lovely of her. I wont forget it
Dan took me to the same hotel we stayed in on the night we got married it also had a spa so we spent a lot of time at the spa which was just lovely and just what we both needed. Spa days more often please. It was such a relaxing stay I read for most of it too which was lovely.
I then also had all my family and best friend who I have known since I was 11 over for one evening for dinner and celebrations. I then had our really close friends over for celebrations on another night. I also then went out for a yummy lunch with all my school mum friends who organised a meet up for me they are such a lovely bunch of ladies and I am so glad I have met the.
A lovely friend of mine has organised some drinks with all my girly friends in a few weeks time to celebrate which I cant wait for my best friend who i’ve known since I was a small human probably about 4 or 5 maybe younger is coming too. So its been a lovely celebration and it’s still going! I think I have well and truly prolonged my birthday celebrations! Which has been lovely! And I feel very lucky to have all these amazing wonderful kind and caring souls in my life. they all mean so much to me.
This next year of my life I wish for abundance for myself, my family and all those around me and you reading this. Abundance in health, in life, in relationships, in wealth, in experiences. Let all those good happy times flow. Life is good when we allow things and we don’t try to control how everything works out. Ive learnt that things always work out no matter your negative thoughts, things always work out for the best. It’s just the way it is.
Here is to turning 30! And another wonderful year of life.