Why I’ve Stopped Putting So Much Pressure On Myself

pressure

As a mother and wife I have an endless list of things to do, always. The household logistics, school runs, clubs, food shop, dinner, lunches, breakfast, doctors appointments, tidying the house, looking after myself, working, and making time for my husband. All this takes up time and it is constant.

Its easy to get burnt out its easy to over do it and its easy to put far too much pressure on yourself to keep everything perfect and up to your standards.

I know I set such high standards for myself that if I don’t sometimes take a step back I will make myself ill.

I do have a very supportive husband who helps around the house when I need him to or if I ask. He is very hands on with the kids and will do bath time and bed time equally with me. So its not that I haven’t got the support. Its just me. No one asks me to keep these high standards its just how I am.

Recently I have taken a step back and stopped putting so much pressure on myself in all these areas of my life. I’ve recently started bootcamp, and its the first time i’ve done something for me in regards to fitness and made such a big commitment to it. Other then work, and my online world. I go to bootcamp three to four times a week and i’ve changed my eating habits slightly, making sure I am eating more fresh foods and not anything processed.

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The best thing about bootcamp is that I can take Arthur with me and he watches me. Its perfect and gives me the freedom to work out and he is safe and happy with me. I absolutely love it. Not only has it given me more energy but it has also allowed me to remember whats most important and thats my wellbeing so that I can be the best mum I can.

Doing something for myself, like working out has reminded me: so what if I wasn’t able to fit in cleaning the whole house for one day, or I wasn’t able to tick all of my errands off, or that I didn’t upload anything online, sometimes I need to put less pressure on myself. And I need to stop using up all my reserves. I do it a lot and then I feel like a failure of a mum and a wife which is so silly because a messy house and not managing to post online are seriously the least of a persons worries in the grand scheme of life.

It can feel like i’ve done a bad job and that everything around me has fallen apart. Lets clarify that It doesn’t actually fall apart, the kids are all loved and fed and looked after its just the house and the work and online stuff that suffer for it. When the house isn’t perfect I hate it. So Im trying to be gentle and slow down in all areas of my life, at least a little.

There is so much time in one day and sometimes I spend so much of it rushing around trying to get things done, it can be exhausting. This week forced me to slow down, (its my time of the month) and I have promised myself to take the week a bit slower. It is half term next week and I need to keep up my reserves.

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Ways I am going to make sure I don’t burn myself out anymore:

Workout: 

I know this sounds contradictory but by working out I give myself more energy and then I am better able to get everything done within the day. My mood is also always lifted after exercise and it does me good in every aspect of my life with the kids. I feel better, especially about myself I work harder at home and while working, I feel so much better all round, so I know its good for me.

Less Pressure:

When I feel like I have got to many plates spinning I am going to put less pressure on myself and just do what I can in that day, and finish the most important jobs first. This can be hard to put into practice I know this, especially when there is so much on. But I am going to try.

Live in the moment: 

When I am so busy I don’t tend to live in the moment and the day whizzes past me and it all seems like a big blur. I don’t tend to take it slow but when I do I remember my days and it doesn’t seem to have sped by. I remember making little memories with each of my kids whether reading to them chasing them round making them giggle dancing to some music on the telly or kicking the football around in the back garden with Archie. Small moments but so big to my children and I need to remember that.

Have a pj day/day at home once in a while:

I don’t spend many days at home all day, more so recently because I’ve started bootcamp so it takes up quite a bit of my time. But Having a day at home once in a while is so needed, especially so to recharge and energise myself ready for the rest of the week.

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Making sure you don’t burn yourself out is a huge part of self care and looking after yourself so that you are feeling your best is so important not only for you but for your family.

Its easy to forget to take time out though and to look after yourself when you have young children a house and work. But it can be done just go easy with yourself and don’t let life take you speeding ahead don’t let it run away with you.

I know that my children want a happy mum, and I think thats so important to remember. They don’t want or need perfection, just happy. Showing them the way to happy in terms of looking after yourself, resting, working out, and doing your best, and feeling good is so important for them to see. After all we are their first role models.

This is mostly why I am making a conscious effort to put less pressure on myself in so many areas of my life and I urge you to do the same.

What do you find helps you to recharge and to make sure you don’t push or overwork yourself?

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11 Comments

  1. October 17, 2018 / 2:34 pm

    Interesting post! Keep up the good work!

  2. October 17, 2018 / 8:30 pm

    Wow! Loved this post. It’s defknitely so necessary

  3. October 17, 2018 / 11:48 pm

    Self inflected pressure is the worst. I know that I am guilty of it too. It does show that that we have high standards and just want things done right, but we should make time for ourselves too.

  4. October 18, 2018 / 6:53 am

    My kids are already 19 and 25 now but I believe that it is so important to make sure you keep having your own things. Your boot camp is great for you and your baby won’t even notice. I have always ‘juggled’ and it is juggling gym, hobbies, girl time and little casual jobs when they were babies. I even threw in a Psychology study online where I had to go on residentals ( no baby but with breast pump). So you are on track and keep at it. Being a mum does not mean that the rest of you stops, although the kids would like that. Great article!

  5. October 18, 2018 / 8:49 am

    Motherhood is very demanding. When combined with a full-time job, it can be quite overwhelming. One thing I try to do is practice mindfulness in everything. This means that I do not multitask at all. So If I’m cooking, I devote my attention fully to that. It also helps to streamline your chores so that you do not take on too much and feel overwhelmed by them.

  6. October 18, 2018 / 9:38 am

    Excellent post. When we become mothers, I think we try to do everything perfect, while on the other side we get stressed and tired. That’s not the kind of mum our children deserve

  7. Sharvina
    October 18, 2018 / 9:52 am

    Thank you for your tips! I feel the same about exercising when I’m under pressure. It actually gives me a boost of energy, by breathing more oxygen. I’m about to start a mindfulness course as well.

  8. October 18, 2018 / 2:19 pm

    I’m not a mom but I can totally relate to putting so much pressure on myself. Good for you for taking control!

  9. October 18, 2018 / 2:49 pm

    Totally agree with you about working out! I’ve found when I miss a day, I feel groggy and more tired than what I do if I get my exercise in – sounds so strange, right?

  10. October 18, 2018 / 10:43 pm

    I love how you mentioned getting only the most important things done. I’m working really hard to let go of anything that looks like busy work or doesn’t suit an essential purpose in my life at this moment. I’m finding it to be really helpful!

  11. October 19, 2018 / 5:24 am

    I admire your honesty and transparency! When it’s time for me to embark on motherhood I’m going to do the same thing!

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