I am back with another me and mine post for June 2019. I am so pleased I started this back in 2016. It was two years after I started my blog, and it really is such a special keepsake for us. (This post is a long one so grab a cuppa)
June was my birthday month. It was a big birthday because I turned 30. I am actually still celebrating now we are into July and my friends have arranged drinks for me this Saturday. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone.
June has felt like a new season in our lives completely. It has almost felt like a month of detox in terms of so many things. First and foremost the end to living in a building site which we have done over the last four years on and off as we have renovated every single room in our house ourselves, I posted about our bathroom, and Sophia’s new room so far. The main shell of the house on the inside is now all completely new, new plasterboard, new plaster, new flooring, everything. But as we have done it all in separate parts each room is quite different. I love what we have done, we have totally transformed the house it was so needed in order for us to feel truly happy and comfortable here.
So this last month has felt like re learning to live without constantly working, with actually having rest periods and moments that I don’t have to constantly clean up after all the building work. I feel like a new woman completely in that aspect of my life. I feel at peace, I feel calm, I don’t feel anxious or on edge like I have done on and off in terms of the building works in my house. It really makes such a huge difference when your home is settled. It really does to me.
So thankful for this season that we are in right now, that we can sit and truly reap the benefits of all our hard work because it really has been. There is no beating around the bush about it. It has been so hard and such a juggle and brought me to tears many times. So I am just going to soak our now up and enjoy this rest period of no more building and renovating.
To really extend it we set off to Wales this weekend just gone for two days to see our family that live there. It was such a lovely trip. It was very sad to have them go two years ago, but like with anything in life you can change those sad feelings into positive one’s and I like to think we are so lucky to have them live there really, because it’s such a beautiful place to escape to every now and then. It really is a little hidden treasure.
The summer holidays and nearly well and truly upon us. So far Ive only planned a few days in holiday club for Sophia and Archie, we are heading to Wales for one week of the summer holidays, and Archie would like to attend football camp for a few days too which I still need to book in. We would also like to take them to either the New Forest or Isle of Wright over the summer holidays because those two places are somewhere we go every few years and we love them both so much and always have such a lovely time.
I am looking forward to the summer, I really relish the change in routine, I love it. I used to get quite anxious about the summer holidays in the past because it has always been all on me to have the kids every single day for the whole 6 weeks. It can be daunting planning days and making plans and keeping them busy the whole summer. But I have learnt so many things over the last few years, places to go things to do and holiday clubs they love for a few days here and there to break it up a bit for all of us. I have also learnt to ask family to have them even if for one day over the summer this helps so much. Arthur is a lot older now so easier to manage the three different ages of Sophia Archie and Arthur. I don’t need to carry around bottles and tend to a small baby I can now give my attention to all three while we are out a bit more evenly which is nice. We also have National Trust memberships which are a godsend and we visit so often, spoilt for choice here where we live. A picnic and a day outside is always a win for us.
I am really looking forward to this summer because Sophia and Archie are older they are so looking forward to the time off school to rest and play and be with me. I cant wait for our slower mornings. We will still be out the house early but there will be no deadline which feels so good. Im looking forward to my random cuddles and kisses from them spoiling them to ice creams, because thats what summer holidays are all about and just having them with me. I love embracing it as much as I can, they really do grow so fast.
We have a lovely week away to look forward to and a few fun days out planned with Daniel. I think the key to a successful summer holidays is forward planning. Having days booked in with friends, and days out booked in. You then have a clear idea of what you are doing and it really stops those anxious thoughts and feeling overwhelmed with such a long time off. It helps me so much anyway and I can spend the summer enjoying my children rather than stressing and being anxious about what we are going to do next. It’s all in the planning for me.
Sophia is so grown up now and it’s been nearly two whole months now since she got her own room and she is absolutely loving it so much. We all are. She has a place to go and have her own space because as you get older you really need this especially with younger siblings too. She now has a desk in her room so she can draw and write which are two of her favourite things to do. There are lots more ideas I have for her room to make it more suited to her but we will do a little bit at a time. Its hard to fit in a huge shopping trip with three children! Its also nice to take my time and pick those little bits I’d like to add in her room for her and for the boys.
My favourite part is definitely adding the finishing touches to a room they make the room and really finish it off. She is so looking forward the summer I am going to get her a little journal so she can document her days and draw pictures. Archie too if it’s something he’d like to do. One of my favourite things when I was younger was to journal and write down my days and what I did and who I saw etc! I also loved writing letters to my friends and still have a huge box full at our house in South Africa. It’s a dream of mine to take my family back for a visit maybe when Arthur is a bit older.
Archie is such an amazing big brother to Arthur and I have really seen their little bond and friendship grow over these last few months. They are a cheeky little team the two of them and they make my heart burst. It reminds me of when I had just Sophia and Archie its the most amazing feeling watching your children bond and grow in their relationship together.
Arthur is getting so big and so cute every single day and it shocks me that he will be two in December! Can the years stop speeding past. He has definitely brought so much extra love and happiness into our family as have each of them when they have been born. Its amazing having children and I feel privileged to have my three and everyday I strive to give them the best life possible and the best of me.
I have really tried so hard this year to put myself at the top of the list as much as I can. I have asked for help more so that I can go to my appointments so that I can have that time to look after myself and make myself feel good. I really really struggle to ask for help and feel overwhelmed with guilt. I used to never go to any appointments I never used to treat myself, feeling like a failure for asking for help from anyone and in fear of the guilt of asking for someone else to watch the children while I went out and enjoyed some me time. I didn’t feel deserving and I also felt huge amount of guilt in so many ways. I have learnt that is all complete BS basically and I deserve to go and do the things I want to and its okay to ask for help and the people I ask are the ones who love having my children. The pressure I have put on myself in the past can be so intense and even worse so when I haven’t reached out and just asked.
The more I have started taking care of myself again the more I am able to give to my little family. It has really been an eye opener this year as to how much I really used to put myself last on the list, even after other people not even in my family.
I have learnt
I have set boundaries
I have put myself first
I have loved myself
I have nurtured myself and being kind
I have taken away the pressure of trying to be perfect
I have accepted me for me
I have grown
And it has felt freeing and being life changing for me.
I often question why? and how did I manage to do this for so many years? Why did i burden myself with guilt and shame for fear of asking for the help I am deserving of? Ultimately I think it’s down to growing up, changing inter-grained childhood habits, living for you not others. Becoming more aware of who I am and what I need to strive in my life. It’s a combination of many things for me, work, exercise, treatments, reiki, reading, blogging. All these things spark my creativity and bring me life, inspiration, motivation and an invitation to feel good about my life. I’ve definitely learnt to do more of what I love and I have learnt that I want to help my children do more of what they love too. I want them to enjoy each day and live it to the fullest. That is what life is all about. Not perfection, but feeling good in each day. Encouraging a positive mindset, active lifestyle, and healthy choices.
Being a mum I’ve definitely learnt how to take care of more then just myself having three humans I am responsible for every single day can and is such a huge task and teaches you so much. It’s a learn on the job kinda job. I know I won’t do it perfectly I am not magic, nor do I have thousands of arms to juggle and perfect every aspect of my life. But I do have a very big heart and all I want is for my three to feel happy in every aspect of their life. So I guess what I am trying to say is look after you, so that you can give the best of you to your family. Do it now and never look back.
Top up that energy of yours regularly, you do that by doing things you love that motivate and inspire you. So do more of that, that’s one of my goals for the rest of the year anyway.
Here is to having a lovely but very quick June it seemed to have gone by in a blink and here is to an even more amazing July. Setting us all up for a lovely summer with our children.
I am just enjoying feeling at peace, I don’t want this feeling to ever escape me. I want to bask in it all of the time. It feels so nice, even with challenges going on around me and other pressures of life I feel peaceful, I feel safe and I feel loved and looked after. We all deserve to feel like this and if I can get myself here then you can too. Anyone can.
I spoke recently about how I want to set up another business doing my reiki and other treatments which I am very passionate about and its on my mind constantly and its on my list. Being able to help others get to a feeling of inner peace would be an ultimate goal of mine. We all have the power within us to feel at peace no matter what external things are going on. No matter if some days we feel anxious or nervous we can still feel at peace knowing this day will pass and knowing you are safe no matter what is coming through for you.
Anyway I will leave that post here. I hope you have the most amazing weekend. I will be back on soon to update you on our trip to Wales. Happy Thursday all of you.