…And here I am

I have missed this little space with all my heart. Ever since Lockdown I had to make the very difficult decision to take some time out. I didn’t want to, I felt personally I couldn’t be fully here and mothering at the same time. Especially having no school and no family support. I did make a good go at trying to juggle it all when lockdown first started but with having my three home it just meant I wasn’t able to carry on here. I had to be selective with what I could juggle.

I am genuinely so happy to be back. The children start school next week and I have been able to take some time out to schedule some content and blog post ideas. I have also got a few jobs scheduled in again which feels lovely considering I have not been available on my blog for a very long time.

As most of you know, who have been long time followers and lovely friends here this little blog is definitely my 4th baby. It’s provided our family with the most amazing opportunities over the years and its given me an income over the last 3 years. I’ve worked so hard getting to this point and over the last few months not being able to physically be here has felt hard for me. But I have fully embraced my sahm status I’ve indulged emotionally with my children and we feel closer than ever. Of course there are moments when I feel I need some space and recently its been lovely to do that in the form of getting my nails done and my hair done. It has never felt better to get a pamper.

I have learnt just how grateful I am for our life over the last five months, my appreciation for our beautiful ordinary life has grown tenfold. The fragility of life is somewhat humbling to me. It pulls me right back into the present moment and its pretty powerful. When I sit with my normal and our everyday and I feel wrapped in our little bubble of happiness I am reminded how quickly moments can change, how life can sweep you up from under your own feet without warning. It gives me reason to be present in the now and the knowing that this is the only important moment. The moment that matters most. How you feel right now. 

At times I have felt my way of looking at things and my knowing that this feeling will end and that it wont last forever to be a curse. As I have come to learn over the years actually it’s my own way of pulling myself back into the present moment and enjoying it for what it is now because ultimately once it’s over, it’s over. I think for me to thrive in life I need that. I need to be reminded of how quickly something can be taken away without warning so that I am forever grateful for what I have now. I think it’s just my way. Ive come to accept that and no longer feel it’s bad its just my way of unraveling and understanding life.

I have also realised how busy my mind is, always thinking and always buzzing with ideas, it has felt hard not to be physically creative over the last five months in the ways I love, mainly writing. I am looking forward to hopefully starting something new over the next few months. But more then ever I cannot wait to get working online again I feel like I have a whole new appreciation for my work here.

It’s so good to be back. I definitely want to share a post on a few corners of our home, and maybe a mini home tour.

I really hope you have all been well and managed okay in the times we have all been faced with. I have thought about how this has affected so many and I empathise with all the different circumstances everyone has faced.

We are all well and it still feels so surreal we have moved house to a whole new place away from so many of our wonderful friends and from my family. We absolutely love it here and I hope you have loved seeing some of the beautiful landscape all around us that I have shared in this post. It makes me so happy every time I look out my window or I step outside my front door. I have dreamed of living somewhere like this in the countryside for so long and it feels so good to be here. I am excited to see my children grow up here, the lifestyle here is exactly what I want for them.

The beauty we are surrounded with almost softens the emotions of leaving everyone behind. Only recently has this felt at the forefront of my mind. The emotions finally surfaced after two months … once we settled and I felt comfortable, now it has really sunken in for me. Nevertheless I know there are always challenges to face in life and this is just something I will have to learn to live with here.

Everything we face strengthens us.

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