“You are my Sun. My moon and all of my stars” – E.E.Cummings
Sometimes life can be a really crazy place.
Sometimes it can be still and peaceful. But in thick of it we can forget whats most important, we can forget to be grateful for the everyday.
Its busy, running the children from one thing to another, school to clubs, swimming to drama. Homework, bath, eat, book, bed. But in-between all these daily tasks there are moments of quiet. Moments of reflection. Where I can really sit and be still and think about my life.
I often feel very reflective. Sometimes for no reason at all but mostly because once you have children it all seems to run away with you in the daily plod. But reflection really helps me cultivate my gratefulness and remember the importance of why I am here. My purpose and role as mum if you like.
Motherhood can be all encompassing and I think it is important to take a step back and pat yourself on the back for everything you do for everyone else in your family. Not for your ego’s sake but for your sanity and wellbeing. To remind yourself that even when you are exhausted and facing the 6th meltdown of the day from said toddler you are still winning. How you ask?
Because you are still here, your children are still loved, the house is still standing, the washing might be on, the dinner might be cooking, the bath might ready, and even if its not thats still okay because you are still here and you are loved. Thats most important.
We all have days that challenge us and make us question ourselves, thats completely normal but its our inner voice we need to work on. Look at all that you do for your family, thats really special and not something to be dismissed.
In my darkest moments when I first became a mum I wish I had someone to tell me its okay that not everything is perfect and the house is a mess, that dinner is not cooked, you haven’t washed all day and your hair is in the same bun it was last week.
Life is not always perfect and happy. It can also be scary, sad, and very dark. But all of these contrasting feelings we have, the contradictory is completely normal. It is what makes us whole. I often remind myself, how would I know the goodness of the sun without the bitterness of winter. How would I know happiness if I didn’t know sadness.
And there you go. It always reminds me.
I once read a quote that the universe rewards the most stubbornness of souls, the ones that keep going despite the darkness or the challenges they face. Just trudge on and soon you will walk to the top of that steep hill and then you can enjoy walking down the other side just as soon. (life can be like that hill).
Since I first started this blog back in December 2014 the year I was writing my university dissertation, Sophia was just 5 and Archie just 2 years old, I have always wanted to address the idea of perfection. Mostly because I see a lot of other bloggers and people discussing how this person is perfect and that person has everything and sometimes its not said in a very nice way. Especially if you say someone comes across too perfect and it can’t be real.
It really doesn’t work like that.
A blog is not there solely to be perfect. A blog is there as an extension of ‘said person’ For me my blog is a genuine extension of me, my most inner thoughts, sometimes ones I don’t discuss with anyone. Instead I write them here, on my little space.
To start I wrote for no reason at all other then to just write. But as time has passed this space where I spend a lot of my energy has transformed into so much more. I write because I love to write, I document and reflect because it is one of my passions. I sometimes wish I had more time to do so. But I have other priorities in my life that need to sometimes be put before that. My children, and I know that when I do get a chance to sit down on here I will be grateful for that time because I don’t always get it often.
When I log on and I see some of the family pictures I have taken over time I am always blown away by how lucky I am to have my family.
One thing I have always wanted to make sure as a mother is that I am grateful, thankful for each of my family, Sophia, Archie and my husband, and now my little bump too. It is no good going through life not realising the full beauty of what sits right in front of you.
My life, to me, is my little piece of beauty. I mean it when I say that it would mean absolutely nothing without these people in it.
Sophia Archie Daniel and our little bump is what makes it our little piece of perfect and its the everyday, the same yearly camping holidays, the many smiley photos of the children, the family films on the weekend, the nights spent helping Sophia with her homework, family walks, the days spent asking Archie to not change his clothes again, and our family dinners at the table that make our family exactly what it is.
So these are the moments I want to remember and in a photo these emotions, these memories are captured, still, in one piece to keep forever.
And thats exactly why this little piece of the internet will always mean so much to me, because every time I log on I am reminded of how special my family is to me and how everyday I want to scoop them up and love them more then I did yesterday. More then I did a minute ago. More then I ever did.
So its not about being perfect here, actually, its about cultivating a grateful heart and remembering all the everyday special moments childhood brings and in turn the joy it brings a parent (like me) to watch and to experience exactly what it is to be…. happy.