“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” –Kahlil Gibran
We have just spent our first day at Bluestone Wales which I am looking forward to writing about. But first I have had a post that I have needed to put up for some time now but I haven’t had the chance.
Like most of my blog posts I write them while I put the children to sleep. (Classy I know) but I tuck them in give them a big kiss and I sit by their door. I have been doing this for a few months now since deciding we didn’t want to lay by them anymore to put them so sleep. As a family we feel it takes up a lot of our evenings and sometimes makes it a little stressful. Looking back though I wouldn’t change our co-sleeping journey through their young lives. Although hard at times I think it has helped them to enjoy bedtimes and associate it with feeling loved warm and cosy.
I am sat by their door, Archie is snoring and Sophia is still tossing and turning I can hear the gentle sounds of the duvet as she moves. I could probably give her a kiss and tell her I am going to see daddy now but I think I will sit just a little longer.
Sophia had her year one school disco just the other day. It was a very monumental day for her. I think a school disco in any six year olds life is monumental. It’s exciting a little nerve-wracking something new that they don’t do often at all. Her last disco was a year ago when she was in reception and how I wish I had captured her that day too. But I didn’t so this year I am so glad I took the time to take a few photos. To remember this day. I am sure one of many to come as she grows older.
I still remember the school discos the first one I ever attended was when I was ten I had just moved to England and I had never gone to a school disco before. I was extremely nervous, more so because it had all being planned prior that I had to dance with my ‘boyfriend’ I still remember the awkward disco dance. Standing arms length apart his hands on my waist and my hands touching his shoulder. Both as stiff as two planks of wood not knowing where to look but nevertheless we sidestepped around the dance floor. Probably the most painful three minutes of my life. I had no interest in a boyfriend at the time neither did I care to dance with a boy for that matter. But I remember feeling under pressure being the new girl in school, and everyone practically forced me in to the plank stance with him. But here we are and now it’s my six year olds turn to start on the journey of school disco’s. I am sure much of hers will consist of really silly dancing and running around. Probably a little bit of jumping in one spot too. The girls huddled together on one side of the dance floor and the boys on the other.
It seems like nothing has changed on the nervousness part. I think that may have been passed on through our genes!? As Sophia was so scared to go to her disco she nearly didn’t go. Actually if it wasn’t for waiting for her best friend at the school gates I think she would have made me take her home.
I’m slowly working on that with her. Building her confidence. It is not always easy with a little one who lacks confidence. The little things can sometimes be made into such big things in their mind and really worry them. Before the disco she had really bad stomach ache which she always gets when she is nervous. Which I am not surprised as our mental activity is hugely linked to our stomachs. So usually if you suffer with stomach problems it may be because you suffer with anxiety or another mental illness. It is all related. Something I found out when I was a young girl.
In the end her best friend arrived and she clutched her hand and they walked in together.
When I returned home later that evening after having an appointment she was beaming. A very happy little lady indeed. “Mummy look I got a rose” I wasn’t expecting that news and I was so shocked.
I listened to her tell me how a little boy in her class who she has always been very fond of had given it to her. Mostly I was so pleased because of how nervous she was before attending and I know that his gesture really did cheer her up and give her a boost. Sometimes it really is in the small gestures that others do that can make the world of difference in someone else’s life.
Thank you to her lovely friend for her beautiful rose I am sure it will be something she will remember for a very long time. I certainly remember many many little things like that from my childhood. Growing up isn’t always easy and we all face things that challenge and test us. But like I always say to Sophia first and foremost it is about having fun and enjoying your day and your life. It doesn’t mater what anybody else thinks or says.
I want for her to rely on her own judgment more then anything, and for her to feel confident in her decisions and know that they are the right decisions for her. I want her childhood to be a joy, I want it to be easy and to full her up with all the confidence she needs.
She is the most wonderful little girl. She has the most gentle little heart she does the most kindest things. It’s in the little things she does offering to help me get dinner ready, fetching me something if I ask her. Just genuinely being my special little lady. My life is that much richer and brighter with her in it and I am so glad I got to capture these pictures of her for her year one disco. Outfit all chosen by herself. Growing up too quickly. A memory I will treasure for ever… my girl.