Life is fleeting

archie

“Archibald is a masculine given name, composed of the Germanic elements erchan (with an original meaning of “genuine” or “precious”) and bald “bold”.”

archie

It’s true life is fleeting, days roll into one another and sometimes we are so busy living we forget to capture the everyday moments.

I wanted to capture my little Archie at three years old. A typical moment in our house. 

He wont be a feisty little three year old forever, he wont tear around the house pretending to be a superhero. He will some day grow up and be a man with all these characteristics he has as a three year old but in adult form.

There are moments in most days when I catch myself thinking. I cant believe I am raising a man. I am helping him grow into a confident and bold young man. If he carries on the way he is believing so deeply in his own abilities I know my boy will achieve anything he sets his mind and heart to. He blows me away. I never imagined what having a boy would be like. I didn’t know all the little secrets I would find out along the way. I didn’t know that it would teach me to love my husband even more deeply. I can understand something in my husband and all men that I never understood before. But now I see. 

So isn’t life’s moments fleeting? Don’t the days roll into one another you can sometimes forget which day it is? One moment you have a baby cradled in your arms and the next you have a energetic toddler bouncing off the walls.

It’s true that my boy is a whirlwind of the most amazing energy. He loves deep he is bold and confident he speaks his mind he is inquisitive and is always asking questions. But there is one thing that he loves more then anything.

He loves to show me he is strong and he loves to be some sort of karate jumping superhero. He jumps off my sofa and my coffee table. Most of the time I tell him not to and sometimes I don’t. This particular day I decided to let him be and capture a moment with him just being him. Because when he is older he wont be jumping off my sofa or my coffee table for that matter. 

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It is true they grow so quickly I sometimes find myself daydreaming of him being a little baby again. Those chubby thighs and dimply cheeks. His gummy smile spread across his little face. His eyes so big and wide taking in the world around him. And those little baby toes so small and so wiggly. I could sit and touch those all day, how can toes be so small?

I sometimes think about the day I brought him home. Although that day was a complete blur because we had a lot of complications. I have one memory bright in my mind. I was sitting on my nursing chair in our quaint living room in our flat where we lived when Archie was born. I held him on my chest and I rocked him, then we would breastfeed, his little eyes opening and closing so contented. He loved looking at me and I at him. I remember feeling so grateful to be home, so utterly exhausted and so thankful to finally have him in my arms, safe, where he belonged. 

It was a little different with Archie. I was a second time mum being more confident in some ways but still feeling like it was all new in other ways. After all he was a different baby to his sister with different needs.

He and I so poorly when he was born I just wanted him close to me. There was this deep inner pull I can’t quite explain. This feeling that he really needed me. My arms always reaching to get him before my mind had fully registered. I must have known he was poorly because I never wanted anyone to hold him I remember thinking how I just wanted him all to myself. (We did find out he had an infection about a week after he was born) I didn’t even want to share him with Daniel I found it really hard to let anyone else hold him.

I didn’t want to leave his side and I think partly because of our traumatic birthing experience it brought us closer the ever, as opposed to separating us.

Still to this day everyday he will grab me jump on me cuddle and kiss me at moments throughout the day. He told me yesterday you are the Goodest mummy in the world. That made me melt.

Archie has a way of bringing love into any situation. He brings his whole heart into every moment of his day. If he is sad or hurt you will know if he is happy and excited you will surely know. No emotion is ever hidden nor should it be. I love how he lives life so honestly and so confidently.

He has a way with everyone he meets. He has his big sister wrapped around his little finger. He will run and launch himself into her and she won’t be pleased but then with his big arms weighed around her neck he will tilt his head and look her square in the eye. He won’t say anything but he will giggle his eyes mere slits. Almost saying I love you big sis and quite amazingly she laughs and quite amazingly he lets go just as quickly as he wrapped her up and they go about their day.

Their relationship is simple, they have their boundaries which sometimes each will cross. Especially when it comes to sharing their toys. But their relationship, it’s fierce, it’s intense, it is gentle. It is their love for each other that always blows me away. And I am always in awe watching them together. How I wished before either was born that I would raise my children to love each other. To know they are always there for each other no matter what. Now seeing my dreams in front of me, my reality not only blows me away but brings me so much joy. It really is the people you share your time with here that make it so good. Life is so much more with deep and meaningful love and relationships. That I have learnt. 

From the very moment I started showing and my bump began to grow Sophia always showed such an interest, she stroked and chatted to her brother from the outside calling him little baby everyday. Always so caring and attentive to my needs and always asking about her brother. Many days we spent cuddled up together, her head on my bump and it was this the beginning of their sibling bond that I really think shaped their relationship. Always start how you mean to go on I say. 

It’s true that once you have a child and truly bond with them your heart will forever be  living outside of your body ready to explode or tense up at any given moment.

It is true that once you have a child your eyes will fill with tears both out of love and sadness.

It is true that once you have a child nothing else in the world matters but them, nothing but keeping them safe and loved has ever been more important.

It may just be the four of us but with love so deep and support so strong for each other I know we give Archie and Sophia so much, we do our best. I say it often here on my blog that we are a team. And I genuinely mean it. It’s the four us making this family work. 

On days of reflection I often dream of growing our family. But realistically right now we are in such a good place together I feel we can achieve almost anything with these two by our side.

It is true that once you have children your life changes. It changes for the better and has an even greater purpose then you ever thought possible. Here is a virtual toast to my little team.

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Showing me how strong he is lifting the coffee table.

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Here is a toast to life and its fleeting moments. Don’t let them run away from you.

And then after all the ruckus, there are moments of quiet, moments when he is so still I cant hear anything. Silence. Isn’t life fleeting? the moments in each day? My boy three years old and four months.

archie

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11 Comments

  1. March 22, 2017 / 3:53 pm

    Aww i love the photos Tanita.. time def does fly i still remember so vividly of being pregnant with Violet and running around after a 2yr old! i can’t even comprehend Alister will be 8 in May.. and ill have a 6 & 8 year old by the end of this year WTH!! i do really also try to cherish those loving moments and reminisce .

  2. March 22, 2017 / 11:00 pm

    Aw, what beautiful words and a lovely celebration of your son and motherhood.
    The photos are gorgeous and really show his character. My son is the same in being so bold and energetic but also so tender and loving too.
    You are right it definitely goes so fast. x

    • March 30, 2017 / 12:45 pm

      He does have a very cheeky side Cass! xx

  3. March 27, 2017 / 9:56 am

    Such a lovely post Tanita. I can’t believe that my son is 20 , it seems like just yesterday I was in labor. Getting up at night with him. Then he was talking. Do you remember when you wished they could talk and then before long you would wish for them to be quiet. My son was a talker from baby and still going on. He was always on the go from the time he got up in the morning he was outside playing, until I brought him in for a bath. He went to kindergarten and I was nervous about him getting on the bus. But he did fine. Its hard to let go. Once when we were on a day trip and I took him into a ladies restroom with a line a mile long. When we washed our hands he said “did you pee on your hands too mommy” I thought that the ladies there were going to die laughing.

    Cheers then.
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