It has been another manic night with the kids, just before bed time there is always lots of moaning whining and even crying because both kids are overtired and fussy. But once asleep its bliss, they have what they need and my husband and I get a couple hours together, to unwind, relax and do whatever we want, even if it requires minimum concentration like watching the telly with a nice cup of tea.
Despite the manic night time routine and the fussy children, I am so eternally grateful for even these struggles-some nights, because these moments, at the end of the day, really remind me of how thankful I am to be alive and truly living these experiences. Even though I am half passed out from exhaustion by the end of the day I wouldn’t trade anything or any part of my life with my two special children, whom I adore. Nothing lasts forever and one day they will be along their way in their own life and all I will have left are the memories we created together. I plan on cherishing every moment. I try to see the positives and the good side in every situation even the ones which are a struggle to go through. I know it’s not the end of the world to have two cranky irritable kids before bedtime, but I tell you it does get pretty stressful. I know nothing is perfect, but I am always striving for perfection, in every aspect of my life. Even perfection of the bedtime routine! I seriously mean that! How good would it be to put the kids to bed with no stress or crying, trying to carry my screaming son Archie while I try to get Sophia some water with one free hand while she throws a tantrum on the floor, one thing is for certain motherhood definitely teaches you to multitask, so at least you learn something from all the crying and tantrums you experience.
Yup, tonight was a stressful night, but most nights are with two kids and one mum, although my husband is here at every beck and call if he is not working late, most of the time the kids only want me. Unless I beg and bribe and plead with Sophia for dad to tuck her in and sit with her, otherwise she will be screaming and so will Archie and I am torn between both my kids and sometimes my head wants to pop, because the rate at which my brain functions in the evenings is about as fast as a snail. So pretty much if Sophia is in a good mood and will accept daddy to sit with her, I am free to tend to Archie and put him to sleep. The joys of motherhood, the beautiful joys, but also lots of hair pulling, wanting to scream, wanting to curl up in a ball moments that are never too far away, but non the less you get through them as calmly and as best you can and you carry on, bringing up your lovely bundles.
I am forever aware that one day very soon, Archie won’t need me to breastfeed him to sleep and Sophia won’t need me to sit next to her and tickle her back while she falls asleep either. So I am sucking it up and I am living in this beautiful moment because it matters to me to give my kids what they want and need, cause some-day soon I won’t be needed like they need me now.