On Evolving and Being Happy NOW!

evolving

Lately I have found myself talking to a number of my friends about self confidence. I think it is something we all struggle with from time to time.

I know becoming a mother has given me huge amounts of confidence, not so much at the beginning but as I have grown as a mother to my children I have developed a self confidence because of accepting where I am, and knowing it is where I am supposed to be now.

I think there is the worldly belief or at least one I am very aware of that being a stay at home mum is not a ‘job’ that a woman should aspire to have. I completely disagree with this and feel it not only is my birth right to be a mother but I feel like my children complete me. Yes they drive me mad sometimes, but by having them in my life, they give me a clarity I somehow lacked previous to their births. They have taught me to slow down, to educate myself, to soak in every moment, to look deep into their eyes and see reality. My children have shown me that we are all human and all connected and nothing holds us back at all. There are no blocks or what if’s, these are illusions or false beliefs of our own making.

I am completely a better person because of them which I know I have said many times here on my blog. I hope I don’t sound too much of a broken record but I mean it, it comes from my heart.

Along my journey as mum don’t get me wrong there has been many many ups and downs, I get days when it is really hard just like anybody else. But I prefer to forget about those days as quickly as I can. Maybe one day I will write a post on dealing with the hard days. But for now, for my own well being I think it is paramount I write and concentrate purely on the good times and when motherhood is good, which is most of the time anyway.

The winter months, they have a way of snatching the joy right out of me sometimes. But I am working on that and this winter has been mild compared to the ones before it.

I honestly believe that it is entirely possible to be happy and contented all the time and I am working on achieving that in my life. I know you can’t ‘achieve’ happiness, it is not a destination but a state of being and I am working on that.

I have found so many things that have helped me over the years become who I am today and be completely positively who I want to be right now. It has come in forms of advice from people and family but mostly it has come from books.

I haven’t spoken about books that much on my blog, but reading is one of my great loves. It is a privilege for me to be able to pick up a book written by someone who is also on this journey called life like me and to read it.

evolving

When I was in a coffee shop the other day I had just read a couple of pages of Eckhart Tolle’s book and I was so pleased that I picked it up because it is all about the inner workings of the mind and I love that. I was so ready to be taken down a new road of thought, to be shown a little piece of Tolle’s mind is exciting, I am curious as to how everyone else lives and how they cope facing all the different challenges life encompasses. 

When a person decides to write a book, it is not just done on a whim. It is a skilled labour of love, writing is therapeutic, it attempts to give the reader something. It can be anything from an escape to inspiration. In short when an author writes a book it is a gift to the reader. And that to me in itself is a beautiful act. To read a book and have a glimpse into the inner workings of an authors mind is completely inspiring to me to say the least. I am one for spiritual books and anything to do with the mind and how powerful and complex us humans are inspires me to no end.

Another reason I am so taken by this particular genre is because there have been very many of these books that have taught me something or given me the gift of letting go and living in the now. To accept what is in front of me and all I have and have a deep love and contentment for that.

I think if an author has a way to give you this kind of inner peace through their words you are on to a winner.

If you take a little inner peace away with you after reading a book you have found something really meaningful and that is not something to take for granted.

In the process of doing my English Literature and Language degree I also came across so many famous literary writers who shaped my world and who also created a new way forward for all aspiring writers who have come after them.

Some of these writers who I adore and gave me so many new and exciting ways to think are Virginia Woolf, Robert Pirsig, James Joyce, and Ali Smith. The way in which they manipulated words, to create fictional books that carry a lifelong message and challenge conventional ways of thinking is amazing to me. These writers have given the human race and the purpose of our existence a whole new meaning. They have let us in to the complex inner workings of our thoughts and imagination.

I have also read many other books in different genres. here is a small list of spiritual authors just as famous and important in their own right and genre. Louise Hay, Mike Dooley, and Eckhart Tolle. These are some of the recent ones I have read.

I am currently reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and I am only on the first few pages and am completely inspired. Tolle has the most amazing way at looking at life and the mind: ‘all cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfilment in external things and in the future as a substitute for the joy in being.’ The ‘human condition’ has a way of looking to the past and making us feel regret and looking to the future and making us feel unworthy. But Tolle makes it clear that by living in the now one has the complete power to accept the joy of being at this very moment.

I am a firm believer of living in the moment, and this is very much of the Buddha teachings but to read it and to remind myself about the beliefs I already hold gives me so much satisfaction and reminds me what is really important to me and my wellbeing and happiness in life.

I also came across this article the other day, …….. Which reminded me exactly why I like having a very minimalist house and why I have a love for decluttering. I need to stop feeling bad for having less. 

It gives me space to think, it reminds me what is important and it makes me happy to be in a space I can keep clean and not have the stress and worry that it is always in a mess.  Which it can be when having two young kids. The article reminded me that it is okay to be exactly as I am and to enjoy having less belongings and a happier state of mind. 

These are a couple of the books and articles I have been reading at present. I wanted to share in case you are currently looking for something new to read or a little bit of inspiration right now. Because that is exactly why I read, I read to give myself something to think about, to ponder something to comfort me when the world gets a little overwhelming. 

Here are the links to some of the great books I have recently enjoyed:

Robert Pirsig

Louise Hay 

Mike Dooley

Eckhart Tolle 

Do you enjoy reading? what is your favourite genre to read?

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12 Comments

  1. February 12, 2016 / 5:02 pm

    I think being happy is really important to me. I like self help/spiritual kind of books and they can be interesting. I’m finding it hard to be happy when I’m so sick but am trying to focus on the thing sim grateful for and it’s helping a lot. Angela

  2. February 12, 2016 / 5:10 pm

    I completely agree with what you say about being a mother. That is all I have ever wanted to be and there is definitely a stigma attached if you say that. I’m having to work arm but hoping I can afford to be a SAHM soon x
    Sarah Cantwell recently posted…Mini Style – Dungaree DollyMy Profile

  3. February 12, 2016 / 9:41 pm

    What a lovely post to read! I completely agree with your words about being a mother. I have not read The Power of Now in so long, it’s an incredible book… I need to re-read it now, thank for reminding me of it’s existence!

  4. February 13, 2016 / 7:27 pm

    I really love this post Tanita. I have days where of course life gets on top of me, where I get stressed or where things don’t go according to plan, but I genuinely am the most content and happy I have ever been since having my girls. I think a lot of that comes with having them, but also just being comfortable with myself and finding what makes me happy over the years. I think also being a mother makes me realise the fragility of life much more, which makes me appreciate the ordinary, happy life I have now. You write so beautifully. xx

    • February 13, 2016 / 7:56 pm

      Thank you Katie you are so lovely! I do agree I am glad you can relate to me it is comforting to know us mums all go through similar feelings. Life is wonderful in so many ways. Thank you for always making me smile x

  5. February 13, 2016 / 11:30 pm

    Lovely post. I agree with what you said about becoming a mother. I don’t know who or where I would be if I didn’t have my daughter. I love being a SAHM, some days are difficult but I feel so lucky to watch my little girl grow and learn new things every day xx
    Emma @sophieellaandme recently posted…Thinking About NurseryMy Profile

  6. February 14, 2016 / 11:26 am

    If being a stay at home mum isn’t a ‘real’ job then why are there people out there being paid to look after other peoples kids? It’s ridiculous. It’s great that you have this passion in your life that keeps you focused and content. I’m not a big reader and certainly not since becoming a mum – there’s no time and if there was I’d be asleep before the end of the first page! xx
    Alex recently posted…Baby Number 2 – 27 Week Pregnancy UpdateMy Profile

  7. February 14, 2016 / 11:52 am

    This is a beautiful post, I’m only a year and a bit in too motherhood and while I absolutely love it it’s been more downs than ups, because I’m still finding my feet and also because of my PND. It’s nice to know everyone has down days and just goes to show you can come out the other side. x

  8. February 14, 2016 / 8:40 pm

    A great post to read, I have been letting everything get on top of me lately and find it hard to find something to be happy about as I am so so stressed! I may try reading, as hey if it doesn’t work what am I to loose!
    becky recently posted…5 Under £5 – February.My Profile

  9. February 16, 2016 / 8:02 am

    I agree and I also want to savour every moment and relax a little more. I find that I am happier when my life is simple – if that makes sense? Great post and good to know someone else feels the same. Jess xx
    mummyofboygirltwins recently posted…A week with my Mum: lunch, library & parkMy Profile

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