I am coming here to write about what has been on my mind lately. It is a long one, so you might want to get comfy.
While raising this little boy of mine I have come to think about many things, as I did with sophia. But in different ways. I worry less and I don’t have any preconceived ideas of how a boy ‘should’ be raised.
There is no right or wrong way. Archie is two years old and he is so fiercely independent as well as being a little clingy and attached to me at times. He is both, when it suits him or when he needs extra reassurance. He carries dolls in his carrier, and kisses their foreheads, as I did to him when he was a baby and still seldomly now when I carry him. He holds them close and offers them a dummy, he always tells me he is the daddy not the mummy, that is his personal preference. He loves playdoh and will ask to get it out most days, twice a day, he rolls balls, makes snakes. He plays for hours, and that is no exaggeration. When he is playing something he really enjoys whether thats playing with his tools, or playdoh he will be engrossed in the activity for hours. He gets on well with his own company.
This is something I think is so very important. Being able to be alone and enjoy your own company is something we push our children away from, we force them to socialise and ‘make friends’ implying to them that their own company is not good enough. When actually our own company is the first place to start if we want to have friends. If we enjoy spending time on our own and we get to know ourselves, our interests, hobbies and explore our creativity, we learn about who we are. That is the basis for our social endeavours. How can we make friends if we don’t know who we are and what our interests are?
I am learning everyday. I try and be the best parent I can, and that also means taking time out to do the things I love. I have to. It is paramount to my success as a mum. If I am happy and feeling like I have achieved what I needed to, I can give the best of myself. If I have something that I do for me that makes me happy, the house runs smoothly, life is calm, there is no stress. That is how I like it. I like for things to be calm, quiet and easy. And they are. Our lives are very much this way for the majority of the time, because that is what makes me feel secure. I like being busy and I like doing things as a family but it needs to done calmly. And it is.
I saw a friend of mine the other day and my husband was due to fetch me, but he had run out of fuel so I had to walk while he purchased fuel and drove to me. I didn’t mind at all actually I needed some fresh air, and my friend lives in such a beautiful part of the world, it is completely out of the way, it is serene and calm, and a complete joy to walk around there. There are beautiful surroundings full of trees, bright green grass every way you turn, and sheep, lots and lots of sheep everywhere.
I paused on the road for a moment, and stood still as I attempted to take a photo. Something was looking at me. It was a sheep, I wasn’t phased but thought that it was lovely that he was starring at me so intently. I kept walking and for a long while the sheep starred me straight in the eyes and watched me walk, it carried on for more then I believed a sheep had a concentration span for. It was a moment.
I have recently decided to become a vegetarian and I couldn’t be more happy with my decision, first it was just due to a long developing aversion to meat. There was just something about that moment of realisation and my decision to stop eating meat, it confirmed my choice. It confirmed all my feelings were right and reminded me I am making the right choices for myself.
I think it must be the most beautiful life living on a farm and caring for the animals and walking up to the sounds of the cockerel and the sheep, and seeing the crisp winter frost covering the grass and flowers as if a blanket. Even in the spring waking up to the noises as the sun rises and dries the dew. All beautiful in my mind. But of course you get the other side to it. If you are an animal lover and take care of the animals which is a huge job in itself and then get to know them and then have to send them off to the slaughter house this must feel like the most saddest thing in the world. At least to me it does. However I am very aware of how doing something day in day out, and ignoring the feelings, you become immune to the pain and the sadness and it all becomes normal.
But of course with everything in life as we move forward, we have to re learn to listen to our inner voice, we have to re learn to listen to our instincts. It is all part of the journey.
So I walked up the road further and further taking more photographs. I was mesmerised by the beauty around me and took humble thanks for how lucky I was to have this view. Sometimes I take for granted all the beauty of nature surrounding me.
I carried on walking and started to see a lot of logs pilled high my eyes gazed from one area to the next and the mood changed. I saw a sign, ‘property of highway maintenance’ my heart sunk. What was beautiful soon made my heart fall to the pit of stomach, I breathed deeply, I looked at the surrounding area the trees that had not been cut yet, they looked sad, sunken, desperate, as trees do in the winter. They where waiting to be heaved out of the earth and destroyed never to be seen again and never to bring me the joy I so desperately needed on a winters day.
You see if you keep walking up this road for another mile you come to an A road that has been completely devastated in order to build and add more housing and more shops. Which I might add we definitely don’t need. But greed does not see devastation, it is devastation. It destroys everything in its path for the power and the money it seeks to bring happiness. If only greed would take one look at the trees in the woods and see they need to be persevered not destroyed.
I took a few steps in slow motion, I looked around me, and tears fell, I was overtaken by it all, by the fact that I was one and there was nothing I could do as one to help. So I stopped and I ran my fingers along one of the branches and I grabbed it tightly. It was rough, full of the true beauty of nature, the branch itself wasn’t long, it was thin and helpless looking, but it was strong. I see her standing there as a single tree, but what I can’t see are her roots, they go so deep into the earth, they go miles below, looking for the best water and minerals to keep her alive. You cut her on top and her roots are still below. But only for so long, as they will slowly cease to exist and her connection to earth will be severed forever. What happens when the last tree is severed and gone?
We take for granted one of the most complex things in the world, but we would die without it.
Our breathe is the single most powerful and important part of living on this planet.
But when the last tree goes, the ability to breathe goes too.
What exactly are we doing?
I know we can change it but not one person alone. I believe we can make a better future for our children, its starts with each one of us and it starts by making small changes at home. Cultivate your garden, recycle your wasted food, recycle your glass, tin, paper, and cardboard. Give back to the earth that gives to you.
Do so not only for your benefit but for that of your children. For the next generation.
I would give my children my last breathe, I would give them everything, so I feel in my heart it is only important for me to make an effort to live a better life for them. For their future. They deserve it.
It was that walk and coming into contact with nature that day that reiterated to me all the ideas I had about raising my son the right way, and more importantly what kind of man he will grow up to be. How raising him now will effect everything in his future. The choices he makes and potentially how he chooses to live his life.
I allow him to make his own choices, he can play with whatever he likes. I enjoy watching him develop his own personality and enjoying his own company. He chooses his own food, although I do offer him healthy options when his choices are not that great. I am here as his guide, I shower him in love and I encourage him to feel good, always.
Although I fret sometimes about the world around me. I know the worrying will get me nowhere. We can get so caught up in the worry, instead I take thanks for what I have, for what my children have, and I live a life I am not only grateful to live but also that I am proud of. I do the things that make me happy in order to be the best for my children and my husband. If you don’t do things for you, then you are giving away your power. You are not respecting yourself, and you need to.
It doesn’t take long, it is easy to make small achievable changes and it is always for the better of not only yourself and your family, but the rest of the world.
Changes start small, and slowly expand until the big change unfolds.
Have you noticed a lot of people becoming Vegan and Vegetarian lately? I have. And it is all because we are learning to take control of our health in our own home. And we can. We can really do it, we can change this world and make it somewhere we are proud to live and thankful to be. It can be safe, and completely organic. But it starts with a small change first.
My son has managed to open my eyes to an abundance that exists around me. A love that is always there not only for our children and family, but for nature. For all that exists around us. Tap into that love now.
Or whenever you can. Whenever you want to. Take a walk in nature.
That unconditional love is always around us and waiting to be opened. It exists all around us. Unconditional love raises my son. Unconditional love moves mountains. It grows happiness and nurtures joy in us all. If you live everyday with love you are moving your own mountains however big or small they are.